


On the Wing

by sharkle



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-20
Updated: 2010-10-20
Packaged: 2017-10-13 12:23:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/137312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharkle/pseuds/sharkle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lily had insisted on doves at her wedding, and Remus had never understood why.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On the Wing

"I want doves," Lily announced to the room at large. James, slightly startled, turned to her with wide eyes.

"What?" he said. "Why?"

"Yeah, Evans," said Sirius; Lily scowled at the continued use of her surname, "that's a bit overkill, don't you think?"

"Uh-huh," said Peter, a grin unfolding across his plump face. "It's not the most important day of your life, or anything."

"It won't stick out forever in your memory," Sirius said, catching on.

"You're not going to be completely barmy about the whole thing."

"Or want it to be perfect."

"Not at all!"

The two of them collapsed into fits of laughter. James carefully hid a smile. Remus, on the other hand, rolled his eyes as Lily crossed her arms in defense.

"Shut up," she told Sirius and Peter, who were now rolling around on the floor. Then, ignoring them, "Yes, doves. Not an entire flock, or hundreds - just a few."

"Why?" repeated James.

Lily sighed, flopped down into a chair. She rubbed her face, and Remus was struck suddenly by how old she seemed. He could see a scratch here and there along her arms from recent Order missions that hadn't been there the last time he had seen her up close. Indeed, she seemed much older than her eighteen years. He wondered if he looked the same.

"Because," said Lily, "doves stand for peace. Peace, and love, and happiness. And that's what we're fighting for, isn't it?"

The boys were silent. Sirius and Peter had even sat up, resuming sober expressions. Remus' breath came heavy in his own chest.

"We're fighting for a safe world, one where nobody has to be afraid anymore" - her voice broke - "and kids can play outside without their parents worrying about them. Right now, none of that's happening. People are eloping left and right - our wedding is going to be one of the only real ones, and I want to make it stand for something."

She was on her feet. There was a heartbeat of a pause; James leapt up, took one long stride, and kissed her.

"I love you," he said.

Lily gave him a little grin.

And not for the first time, Remus wished he didn't live alone.

-

The graveyard was deserted. A light autumn breeze swept leaves over the ground, where they twirled and whirled, dancing with each other in the wind. Tears stung especially hot against Remus' cold face as he stood, fists clenched so tight at his sides that his nails drew blood from the new scars on his palms.

The full moon had been lonely this month.

He gulped in air, gasping for it, willing his lungs to fill while, at the same time, half-wanting to be lying under the ground with them.

Remus outstretched a hand, the engraved letters painfully evident under his fingers. Just looking at it made his heart hurt; he traced the J in James, and it gave a particularly large twinge. Then, unable to stand contact with the icy white marble any longer, he let the hand drop back, a fist once more.

As if on cue, a pair of brilliant white doves swooped down from out of nowhere, passed right over Remus' head (and Lily and James' grave), and flew out of sight.

Remus blinked away a fresh wave of tears and - he thought he was going insane - laughed. It ripped through his chest, a foreign thing even after a year.

"Doves, Lily?" he forced past the lump in his throat. "Really?"

But what he wanted to say was, Peace... but at what cost?

You left me here.

-

Now, he thinks he understands.

Teddy - his son - is asleep in his mother's arms. Dora is singing quietly to him, playing with the tuft of pale brown hair on his head, eyes for no one else.

Remus watches from the doorway with a small smile. It's hard to think that outside these walls, people are dying and bleeding and suffering - that there's a war being fought -

But then, that's the point, isn't it?

That's what peace is: when it's easy to forget anything exists other than this moment, right here, right now, because nothing else really matters. That's the point; that's what Lily and meant and what James understood and what Remus understands now, that you'll give up anything just for the ones you love to have their own peace.

He walks into the room, watching Teddy's sleeping face. Dora's song turns into a hum and the corners of her mouth quirk upward as he comes up behind her.

"I love you," he whispers.

"I know," murmurs Dora. Almost reluctantly, she tears her gaze from her son and looks up at Remus. "I love you, too."

And his heart flutters, like a tiny little dove.


End file.
